Friday, May 11, 2007

The ups and downs of motherhood.

For every mom, there are days when the smallest of things frazzle you to shreds and there are days when even the biggest leave you unmoved. For me, yesterday was one of the former. It was a long day to begin with. We started out early at about 9:15 am to be for the 'Family Center Plus' program where a dentist was supposed to visit and inform us about general dental hygiene for children. After coming back from there, I and Vansh had an early lunch because I wanted to take him to the MOMS club 'Miller Park playdate' at 3:00. I wanted to take advantage of the lovely weather outside and the fact that I had the car today.
In the evening, before our walk with Ashwini, Vansh took out coins to play with which he likes to put one by one in the piggy bank. I started telling him to clean up about 10 minutes prior to leaving, reminding him after about 2-3 minutes; warning him that we won't go if he doesn't clean up; tried giving him time while we were standing at the door, hoping that would hurry up things; left him alone in the house for a couple of minutes. Nothing worked. After what literally turned out to be a battle of sorts, he had a meltdown and I almost had another. What finally worked was that I told Ashwini to leave and came inside to tell Vansh that papa has left and that he'll have to clean up if he wants to join him or else just sit with mamma in the house. That somehow worked and although in tears but he put all the coins back in the box with little help. Oh how I wish each kid came with an instruction manual on whats going to work and whats not!! Anyways, moral of the story - we were late. But the weather was simply great outside. All 3 of us got a breather, Vansh forgot about his "heavy heart" after a while and I and Ashwini got a chance to discuss our objectives of parenting and strategies that might work. We ended up taking a longer walk than usual. We went till Purgatory Creek where they had started the fountain in the middle of the park just yesterday and which Vansh totally adores. I had literally restrict him physically from jumping into it. Nevertheless, he managed to wet half his t-shirt, his shorts and his head and face. But he had a lot of fun. I'll remember to take the camera there today so I can post some pictures here.
It was dinner time already by the time we returned and I had yet to cook the rice. Now I have noticed this is what really stresses me out - rushing things up so I can accomplish everything as per schedule. particularly getting Vansh to bed in time. And I am sure each and every mom of a toddler would agree with me, when you try to rush them, they make sure to take their own sweet time. So everything I asked Vansh to do, from taking off sandals to washing hands to sitting down for the meal to fianlly brushing his teeth, was greeted by a short and firm"नहीं!!" (NO). Both I and Ashwini struggled to keep our cool even as we let out deep breaths and voice raises.(He too has been having more than usually tiring week at work).
At the end of the long and tiring day, as I reflected on all that had happened, I promised myself a couple of things - one to stick to schedule no matter what (though I still wonder as to how to know what will work and hence save time in situations like the one that arose prior to the evening walk today, I guess everyday experience teaches you with every passing day) and second to be easy on myself - not to worry too much about cooking yummy delights (something I love doing but unfortunately and very naturally do not have the energy for at this point of time) and about the mess which is a by product of a little one at home.

Huhhhh ..well that was yesterday!! Now about the wonderful and uplifting today!! Being Friday, the fun ECFE day, I had planned on discussing with the parents group, my concern about how to keep my cool. Vansh, I understand, is being what any normal 2 year old is supposed to be. But how to maintain your own sanity in the midst of it all. But my day started with a wonderful smile with a poem especially for moms on 'Mother's day' which immediately tugged at my heart strings. Vansh left his hand print alongside. (Click on the picture to enlarge)

That was not all. Today was a day when I had tears in my eyes more than once. His teacher commented about the wonderful age that these kids are at now. She said once they start going to school, you start missing all the time that you are getting to spend with them now. Which is so true if you come to think of it. At the end of the class, Vansh had another surprise memento for me. A picture magnet which says:
Once again God showed me He's there and He cares; to take life as it comes; to take it easy; to enjoy the time I am spending and so fortunate to be investing in my son's formative years. For before I know, time will fly like always and he'll be grown up and gone; God knows where in the "hugely small" world. I am so thankful to God for all his blessings and more.

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