Monday, October 6, 2008

The life and times of a 3 year old ...

Scene 1 - Vansh wakes up from his nap. Jiya's still asleep. I am cooking dinner in the kitchen. After the hug and the I want duddu (milk) and drinking the said duddu, Vansh shouts, nothing in particular, just an 'aaa' with a silly grin on his face. Jiya is still asleep in the room 1 meter away and so I react with a finger on my lip and a shhh. He repeats. I tell him firmly that he needs to quiten down because Jiya is still sleeping. He shouts again, not as loudly this time, but a shout nevertheless. I tell him that I can take him and leave him outside if he feels like using his outdoor voice and he can come back when he is done. He refuses and he laughs, the "Yay! I made her say that again" kind of laugh and stops shouting.

Scene 2 - Jiya is also up now and Vansh is playing with his toys trying to fit the whole 2 big boxful of toys in a 1 foot long garbage truck and shouting when they start spilling over. I go in to ask him whats the matter and explain some things to him and come back, which is followed by some more shouts soon after. I go in once again with an intention of spending some time playing with him sensing thats what he wants. Jiya follows me and Vansh starts pushing her and grabbing her arm when she tries to touch the spilling toys. I tell him not to do that and play with him for some time. When I return, the shouts start again. I decide to ignore this time. He comes closer and closer first to the door of the room, then out the door and in the kitchen, the decibels increasing. I start humming a song, followed by asking him something casually. He says in a sad tone "Mer ke toys gir gaye" (My toys fell). I tell him that its okay and he can try again, though he is trying to fit way too many toys in the small garbage truck.

Scene 3 - Jiya is playing with a frisbee and Vansh teases her by touching it. Jiya yanks it back and starts running. Vansh runs after her, slowly on purpose. Jiya enjoys at first and starts laughing loudly but starts getting irritated soon after and whines and cries. Vansh enjoys the whining as much as he enjoyed the laughing and continues running behind her and at times snatching the frisbee or whatever the toy is from her. I tell him for the thousandth time to let her be when she starts whining/crying. The scene repeats itself over and over and this one's hard to be ignored. The consequence varies from a gentle request to a scream "Vansh stop snatching the toy!" or "Leave her alone!" to a threat of leaving him outside for the maintenance uncle to take away. Silly grinning continues all this while.

Distracting him by asking him to work on his favorite Thomas Engine puzzle or coloring works at times but at others it doesn't because Jiya now gets into everything as she is able to climb on the dining table which used to be the safe haven for exclusively Vansh activities till some time back. This is even after I give Jiya her own puzzle/coloring to work on on a separate table.

Scene 4 - Light switches - On, off, on, off, on, off, .... Refrigerator door - open, bang shut, open, bang shut, open, shut ... Ignoring sometimes takes care of it except if its doors that he is banging. He gets one scream at times followed by a whack on the back of his head for the fear of one of the kids pinching their fingers. At other times, I pick up the phone and pretend to talk to Tom/Jeff/Eric maintenance uncle to tell them that they need to come in to fix the lights/refrigerator which is soon going to go bad owing to Vansh treating them the way he is. The silly grin written all over his face again, he stops. Was it really their fear that stopped him like it used to till some time back or was it the the 'mission accomplished' at having pushed mommy's buttons along with the light fixtures.
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I started writing this post last week and wrote it upto this point. As is evident from the post, we were having a tough week, the kind where I throw up my arms in despair when Ashwini comes home and then both of us keep exchanging glances as if to say "What's wrong with this little guy of ours?"

But then there are some good days or may be just little good gestures where we know that behind the mischievous three year old who pushes his parents' buttons and drives them up the wall, there is also a lovely little boy who loves his parents and sister as much as he teases them, who proclaims lovingly "Jiya tu hamari sweety hai" when she decides to hug him when he wakes up in the morning; who says with a twinkle in his eye "I am so ecited Mama" when she tells him for the thousandth time that we'll be going to India not this evening but after a few months; who squeals in delight and shouts "Its fun Mama" when she throws the beautifully colored fall leaves on top of him.

Yeah you are right, the last few days have been good :) And if I hadn't gotten this far in typing out the Scenes blog post, I probably would have deleted it. But I decided to publish it nevertheless so that I remember that waiting for us at the onset of every tough phase is an even more sweet and heartwarming one.

11 comments:

Kodi's Mom said...

ditto times three! ok, not exactly as it plays out in your home, but going out of his way and taking extra effort to push mom's buttons...I am victim to that day in and day out! and that victorious smile, I so know what you're talking about! man, there's got to be a way..lets just console ourselves that it is an extreme form of love. we do love teasing our loved ones all the time, don't we?

PG said...

The first pragraph - I could copy paste it for my blog ! :D
Yes, I thought what i have seen untill now wasthe toughest part, but things are getting tougher when it comes to dealing with Rishab. You need to have all kinds of arguments ready. I have been stricter lately with him. When he goes on my nerves, I send him in his room. He cries then, to my happiness - you kniow what I mean? But, then on other times I see his other side too and have to say to hubby, what a darling he is. :)

tulips said...

oh yes, its so unpredictable with kids. THe last para was so well written..it moistened my eyes!

Anu said...

That's a lovely perspective in the last para Neera..so true..yet we fail to realize it sometimes when the going gets tough :)Hmm..we keep telling ourselves "this too shall pass"

noon said...

Neera - started again - the copy/paste posts! :) Meaning posts you write for me to copy/paste for what's going on here. So the same here. Well KB at least tries to be a little muffled when I tell him to keep it low when KG is asleep and he is already awake...but then her room is also quite sound proof unless he talks loudly. But this whole teasing KG...making her run behind him etc...and yet being so extremely affectionate towards her - so similar, the two kids.

~nm said...

They know how to test our patience. Don't they?

Preethi said...

Neera.. you have 2.. I have one and the same amount of trouble.. :) But you are right there are the bright spots that make us forget the not so fun ones :) Hugs to you for what else can I say? We are ruled by toddlers!!!

jasheena said...

hey neera u r not alone dear ..same thing is happening here..exact scene 1 and 2...
there were times when nathan used to take all the eggs from the refrigerator and run all over...luckily we got a fridge lock...if u want one u can try in ikea...that will be a gr8 help

Suma said...

awww..neera...don't you worry...you need a few grey hair don't you...? there will always be phases of adjusting and growing...

its a phase of him trying to test his independance...the older one feels irritated for having to give up his space, his stuff just because the younger is still a baby...

perhaps he needs an exclusive mommy and me/daddy and me time...just a thought...

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