Friday, July 11, 2008

Such is life ...

We returned from our 5 day trip to the east coast on Wednesday early morning. After waking up I called home. Nobody picked up the phone. I called dad on his cell. He said they were at an uncle's place, they came because anyways the internet was down and hence they could not log on to the yahoo chat which they do almost every single day. He asked me how our trip was, how the kids and us were doing and asked me to take care. He did sound a bit morose but I didn't suspect anything.

The next morning I logged on myself and waited. They didn't log on. The internet must still be down I thought and carried on with the chores. I saw my dad's cell number on the caller id as I picked up the phone. He didn't have to call me again to ask me just after a day how we were doing, how much he worries, I thought to myself. It was my mom. She asked us about the trip, about the kids having rested enough, about Ashwini being well rested before joining back work. I asked her about the internet being down still. Papa will tell is all she said. Some technical stuff, I thought. I spoke to dad whom I asked the same thing. There was nothing else to say, we had just spoken yesterday.

Mom is in the hospital, he said, with a light forced laugh.
What happened?
She slipped at home and fractured her arm and her leg.
Yesterday morning.
Yesterday morning? When did I talk to you?
Last night but you had just returned tired from your trip. And she (mom) had just been operated upon then and still under the effect of the anesthesia and in no position to talk which would have worried you no end.

Oh my , why are my parents like that, I thought to myself for the umpteenth time. They are in pain, sharp pain and they still think of me not getting worried. I tried hard to swallow that lump forming in my throat. I just couldn't break down and increase their worries manifold. All they would think about then is how bad I felt and my mom would almost hold herself guilty for having done something to make me cry! No, that HAD to wait!

Operated?? How seriously did she hurt herself?
She fractured her left arm and her left leg. At her age (she is 62 now), when the bones are anyways getting weak, its better to operate rather than wait with the cast for 6 weeks and find out that the recovery hasn't been too good and then go ahead with the operation. They trusted the doctor and went ahead with it.

How did she fall?
We had called some pest control guys and they had almost finished their job. We had gotten ready to leave for a couple of hours and leave the house closed for the proper effect of the pest spray. Mom went into the back room to change her footwear without realizing that there was liquid spilled on the floor. She slipped in the narrow space between the bed and the door. So while they had planned to go out together to a mall, they ended up in an ambulance to the hospital.

Don't worry, he said again. He had been repeating it in the entire conversation.

I asked to speak to mom again gently chided her for not telling me anything earlier. She was in pain yesterday, she said but was feeling much better today.

I asked her to take care and again told me not to worry.

Worrying won't help, at all, I know! I just feel sad being so far away, thinking we could have helped had we been closer. As I count with eagerness the few months that are left for us to go back and relocate, close to our families, these are situations I dread. Things happen, I know. Just let me be close to my family when they do is what I ask of God. Because that's the very reason we don't want to be here. Bith then Destiny is HUGE. This is not the first time I have bowed to her. Life doesn't unfold according to our plans is the truth, sometimes sweet, at others bitter.

Anyways I am thankful to God for the fact that my parents are fortunate to have a wonderful family and friends around to help. They had been calling and asking for ways they could help - food, staying in the hospital, being there for just moral support. I am so so lucky for not having to worry on that front. But a child is after all a child. I had spoken to them last night. In the morning my mother in law called me and told me about the progress and so I thought I'll call tomorrow morning. But my parents just felt like talking to me and they called themselves at quite an early hour for them.

The morning tea wakes me up early here, laughed my mom.

She is a brave woman with amazing portions of patience and will power. She is always on her feet with never a dull moment. She is the sort of person who'll never crib about any situation but find ways of keeping herself occupied and making the most of it. I do wish her a very very speedy recovery. She needs this rest I know. Only that this was way too harsh to get just that.


~nm said...

I know what you mean about parents trying to hide things so that we don't get upset or worry. But if you step in their shoes you will see their point of view!

But despite this practical piece of advice, I know I also react the way you do so many times! :D

Suma said...

oh no...that is so must be such a long will she be in teh hospital? its tough when you live so far away that you can do nothing but worry...

i remember when i went down for my last vacation to Bangalore, (when my sis from boston had come down with her twins), mom slipped and fractured her calf bone...and we were so relived that we were around to look after her but all she did was cry that we had come down to rest and that she couldn't lok after us...

you take care...and my get well wishes to your mom...

Neera said...

~nm: I absolutely understand their point of view but sharing just their joys and not sorrows is not fair.

suma: Oh boy, I can understand how bad ur mom must have felt :(
Thanks for your good wishes. She'll be discharged Monday morning, has to do physiotherapy regularly now and shall take 2-3 months to recuperate fully.

Making Memories said...

that's really sad Neera, i can understand what u might be going thru now.
this happened with us also last yr when we went my mum had to be hospitalised for a week bcos of her heart condition..i was releaved that i was there with her at such tough time and she still says she cudnt take care of me and dint cook for me nicely when i had come to have some rest...i know these parents.
I wish her a very good health and speedy recovery, as u said she's a strong willed lady, she'll definitly come out of it quickly.

u take care
love to jiya and vansh

Swati said...

What can I say parents are all the same. I will pray for her speedy recovery.

ddmom said...

aww.. Neera. I know what you mean. Very similar thing happened with my parents some 7 -8 years back. They told me about the incident some 2 weeks later and I was furious!
Wishing your mom a super speedy recovery. You take care..

Neera said...

deepali: thanks for your good wishes. U mean when u went the last November? How is she now?

swati: Thanks Swati!

ddmom: Thanks dear. I understand they want to keep us away from the worries and the tension. I have had so many fights with them about this and that's why they told me the next day, else they probably wouldn't have, I know.

noon said...

Oh Neera - just read this. Felt so bad - almost wished in my mind that she had not gone back into the house and just gone to the mall in what ever foot wear she was in...can't go back on heavens it was at home all this. But still I totally know how you feel...and like you said the only saving grace is that they have a lot of family/friends support. I can see why you want to move back to India...

Mystic Margarita said...

Oh God! It must have been so painful for you - and the worst feeling in the world is the feeling of helplessness you have when you hear your loved ones are unwell and can't do anything about it. Hope your mother is doing better now - and it's so like parents to try and lessen their child's worry even when they are going through the toughtest of times. Hugs and lots of prayers coming your way for aunty's speedy recovery.

dipali said...

This is the hardest part of being far from your family. One ends up feeling so helpless. But God is great, and fortunately they do have people to help them at such times. Cheer up, dear.

Neera said...

noon: exactly how I felt ..just if she had not gone to change her footwear but like you say can't go back in time. thanks for the heartfelt comment.

margarita: thanks for the hugs and wishes. It means so much, you know, when I know how busy u r keeping, for taking time out to wish your best. Warm hugs back :)

dipali: God is great and I really thank him for all his blessings even during hardships.

PG said...

Yes, parents are the same, always worrying about their own child, even when it is them who could do more with some help. But, on the other hand, now being a mom myslef, I can actually understand their point of view too.

I know only too well, how hard it is in such moments when you cannot be with your parent's when you want to be with them. And it is surely a consolation that there are people around them who care.
I will wish for your mother's fast recovery and her good health. All the best to you too!

Arti said...

Hi Neera

Amit told me about your mom's accident. Sometimes life gets hard on us. She will be fine try & boost their moral.We are just back from Delhi. Mom is much better now. Thanks to Padma bua she took good care of Amit & Mom at the hospital.

Neera said...

pg: Thanks for ur wishes dear!

arti: I am glad maami is feeling better. I try and do that almost everyday. Just talking to their children makes them feel so much better.

all: Mom was discharged from the hospital today. Which means the pain is bearable enough to be manged by oral pain killers and she doesn't need pain killer injections anymore. She has to do physiotherapy everyday.

Thanks again for all ur good wishes.

PG said...

Iwas just about to ask you about your mother. Wishing her a good recovery!