Friday, July 22, 2011

Guilty?

Noon passed on this tag to me about mommy guilts and it was interesting to read her and Ro's and Art's confessions and feel like 'Oh, moms I admire and am so fond of do it too! I am not so bad after all;) " Here are the rules :-
  1. Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children... been a wee bit selfish.
  2. How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?
  3. Tag 2 more moms

And after reading the above posts, I am not feeling so guilty after all. Anyways out of me and my husband, I am the thick skinned one.

- I think bedtime routine features in every mom's list. When I am putting my children to bed and looking forward to my 30-40 minutes of 'me' time (read internet time on most days) to catch up with friends et al, I sometimes read the books they bring hurriedly. Then they have themselves made up this routine where they want me to just rub their backs from inside their shirts till a count of 20 and for the last few days, they then ask me to just press their legs for a bit because they are so tired from playing and then V will want to give me a hug and then J and then V will want to end the hugging session with one last hug to him and then J would want the last one and basically they just try to elongate the whole routine which leads me to snap at them at times. V also asks me what I'll do once I finish cleaning the kitchen which I usually do only after they sleep especially in summers and I partly lie to him saying that I have some 'work' on the computer or I have to iron clothes (I don't tell him that I'll watch a movie alongside) because otherwise he'll want me to sleep with him. Whether I feel guilty - well I wish I had a clone who could give them the warmth and fuzzy feeling of sleeping with a parent every time they wished for it but don't think I am depriving them of something because I am doing a lot with them during daytime.

- One thing I do feel guilty about is when I stay up till too late watching a movie or spending time on the internet and then I wake up a little later than I intend to and then have to rush them through their waking up (they do take forever but I guess most kids do) or their breakfast and generally increasing everybody's stress levels, I feel like this could have been avoided! Anyways I am getting better with it and I know that once it becomes an everyday thing that both of them have to leave for their schools early, I would have to discipline myself and sleep early because I can go with less sleep for 3-4 weeks max and then it starts getting difficult.

I always love when Dipali writes about her mommyhood experiences because she's been through it all. So I tag her and also Cee Kay because I can't think of any guilts she may have, she's a saint mom in my eyes :)

4 comments:

noon said...

Wow Neera - just finished one big jogsaw puzzle with KG and came here with my tea - my blog was open and I refreshed it - I was not going to check your blog at all until you pinged me - wow - that was a quick response. Yes, I agree with you on rushing the kids when you (as in me too) could have avoided it by planning better - I do that too sometimes - I would not have planned their play time at the park properly and then I will come home and be rushing to cook my FIL's meal and at the same get theirs ready and in all the stress will be transferred to the kids. Enough already with the guilt right! :)
I can't believe how similar the night time routine is - I too press their legs because I feel like doing it when I think of how much they run all day long - now they have gotten used to it. We have this routine of saying "Gooni, theetheem, happy thou" (for goodnight, sweet dreams, happy thoughts) to each other! That goes on and on with each kid saying it to me over over back when I wish it to them.

Rohini said...

My kids have never slept with me, except when they were sick or scared or we were traveling. I am a light sleeper and it totally messes me up to have them sleep in my bed. But I have never felt bad about it.

Neera said...

noon: :) I guess all of ours' routines mirror each others at some point or the other because of similarity in ages and our thought processes :)

Ro: I agree and this when I am not even a light sleeper but we wake up so much fresher when they are not in our bed. They need so much space even while sleeping :)

dipali said...

Neera, it's too long ago!!! And my kids will never let me hear the end of it if I blog about what I still feel guilty about- I will mail you, if you like!