Vansh turns 5 and another BIG news

So finally the wait ended, the wait that lasted almost a year when he kept asking whose birthday is it next and had the order on his finger tips and kept repeating "Pehle nani ka b'day aayega, phir papa, phir Jiya, .... , phir chachi ka b'day, phir dadi ka aur phir VANSH KA!" In the last week before his b'day, he had already started saying "You know, next year I'll turn 6 years old!" oft leading to responses like "How about first turning 5 dude!"

But its so heart warming to see and feel the excitement, the glee in his voice and the wonder in his queries. "So will you buy me new clothes for 5 year old children then, new shoes too?", "So will I grow taller?", "When will I turn as old as papa?" and then the countdown every morning, "Is it today" followed by a whiny "Why not?" I wish for you to be always so enthusiastic about beginning a new year in your life, dear son as I wish for you the bestest of joys and the most wonderful cheer. I do expect a lot from you, you know that and we try hard together. We are successful in some things and have to try even harder in some more.

The other BIG news is that I get back to work next week. After 6 long years ..haaah. Even though its a 7 week contract to begin with, but for me, its still big. Its in the school that I worked in before getting married and moving to the US. I am thrilled to be getting back. You know out of the total of 5 meals that I have to feed my allergic-to-food and even more allergic-to-the feeding-mommy kids, 3 would be done by the daycare that we decide to put them in while I am away!!!! How cool is that?! Okay so thats not the only thrill factor ;) I had to go to meet the Principal and my HOD (Head of Department) today and Vansh was home with his grandmother. He was a bag full of questions when I returned ...

- So did you teach today? You were mam today? Don't make faces the way you do with me, okay, otherwise children will say our mam is so funny! Ohh, okay, thanks for the reality check!

- So who will drop me at my bus stop and who'll pick me up? Oh so if you go before me, I'll drop you at your bus stop, okay!

- Today he got quite worried about going to his Karate class, my mother in law told me. he even changed into his uniform and told her "Will you please take me since mamma has been away for so long?" when we have to go only inthe evening at 5:00 and I returned at like 12:00 :) But to be honest I felt good about the role that I play in his life and that he is realising it.

- Jiya chipped in with her queries - so will you go in Bhaiya's school bus? Why not?

I have a lot of apprehensions myself. To be working first time ever after having kids. I am so used to being there for them all the time as are they. What would it be like? I hope and I pray to the kind Lord to be especially generous with his blessings on us right now, to watch over us as we start yet another new chapter in our lives.

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The Journey to the Achievement Week

Vansh has in his school starting today what they call the achievement week, in which basically they would be tested and graded on whatever they have done throughout the year. As I and Ashwini cajoled him into learning at least 2 more rhymes out of the 20 odd rhymes, other than the ‘Aeroplane, aeroplane’ and ‘Lal peeli motor’ in a last ditch effort last evening, I realized that making him prepare for the said week has been a rather amusing experience.

- As you might have noticed, the rhymes that he did remember well are related to transport. No surprise that. Day before yesterday, I asked him to narrate the 'teddy bear, teddy bear turn around rhyme’ which he narrated as ‘teddy bear, teddy bear up in the sky; where are you going flying do high’. Basically he was just replacing the aeroplane word with the teddy bear in the ‘Aeroplane, aeroplane’ rhyme. On being asked what was he saying, he replied that the teddy bear is riding in the aeroplane. Hmmm, okay – what can one say to that except laughing at the logic!

In another instance last evening, Ashwini asked him to narrate a rhyme titled ‘2 little apples’. I’ll quote the conversation that took place :-

Vansh – 3 little monkeys jumping on the bed

Ashwini – I asked you to narrate 2 little apples

Vansh – No, 4 little monkeys …

Ashwini – 2 little apples

Vansh – No, 6 little monkeys …

Ashwini – 2 little …

Vansh – 10 little monkeys … (reminded me of the times when I tell him he’ll have to repeat a word he doesn’t remember 5 times, if he resists I go on increasing the number to 6,7,8 – its his turn now, hmm!)

Ashwini – Okay, lets just make it 2 little monkeys …

Vansh – 6 little monkeys jumping …

Chachi called the doctor …

Chacha called the doctor …

Dadi/Dada/ Papa/ Mamma called the doctor …

Us : Oh! So that was the logic behind the 6 jumping monkeys. Each one from the family ought to get a chance to call the doctor!

- I made him several worksheets for English, Hindi and Maths to practice matching the picture with the correct letter, circling the correct letter, counting and circling the correct number and the like. Many a times he liked to do his own thing with those.

This is what a typical worksheet on matching looked like. I couldn’t just give it to him and then proceed to check it some time later for that would be a maze exercise for me to see whether the picture is actually connected with the correct letter. I would have to actually look at him start from a particular picture, doodle endlessly and finally reach the corresponding letter. Normal is boring for this little fella!

He once didn’t want to work on any Maths worksheet because he was bored and said that he wanted to make one of his own. So he picked up a template and came up with this.

He made several English worksheets too at the back of the ones I gave to him to work on. I just have one picture though he made much better ones when the idea was novel to him and he drew meticulously.

The zig-zag matches with the Z, thats an umbrella matched with the U and a Race-car with the R. The big curve on the right is lots of smoke from the race car since it moves so fast.

He decided to spruce up a plain looking hurriedly made ‘What comes after’ worksheet by drawing an amusing looking Papa on it. And didn't deem the worksheet important enough to be completed, by the way.

- I am not sure if I have mentioned before that Vansh is extremely conscious of his public image, especially his image at school. I have a mighty hard time explaining that at home, he is the total opposite of the really the sweet docile boy that he pretends to be in front of friends. At PTM’s, when I and his class teacher (whom he is very very fond of and would do anything to be in her good books) exchange notes, I am like “Are you sure, you are talking about the same Vansh that I am talking about?” The difference shows in his work too. While his class work is immaculate and like his teacher claims among the first one to be finished, he likes to do his own thing taking his own time at home. On a regular basis, he does not write the counting in the correct order. He’ll first write say the 20’s line, then spend some time thinking where the 70 would come and then write the line backwards till 61 and so on. While practicing to draw a garden scene for his art test the next day, this is what he came up with at school and then at home. The school one is complete with a shining sun, trees and flowers and a bunny. He wanted to just make a big sun sitting in the garden and kept drawing rays of the sun.Then he wanted to draw a dog in its kennel which is what that square is.

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Are they really 4 and 2?

Experts from a couple of conversations last morning and evening respectively, with the supposedly 4 and 2 year old residents of the household

Vansh took a long time to get up and out of the bed last morning, more than 20 minutes and considering that morning is really the time when 'every minute counts' lest you miss the school bus, it was a lot. After about 10 minutes of trying several ways to make him get up, it came to a point where I told him, threatened him would be more like it that I would now stop telling him to get up. He can get up whenever he wants to and then I'll ready him and walk him to school even if that means he reaches an hour late. And if after getting up, his taking a bath clashes with anyone else's bath time in the house, he would have to wait even further. And I actually intended to follow through. The boy still slept for a further 10 minutes as I strolled around the house, pretending to be not losing it! I don't know what ultimately made him get out of bed but when he did, we just had enough time to rush to the bathroom, rush through the daily 'motions' (I think I experienced the smallest unit of time yesterday as the one between the time I made him sit on the pot and the time it took for the potty to come out!) and rush with the bath and the dressing up before rushing out the door for the bus. We were late by about 5 minutes but there were still about 3-4 minutes before his school bus came and guess what this guy has the cheek to tell me, as I acted all angry with him for doing what he just did ...

"See, even after getting up so late, I can get ready in time for the school bus!" !!!!!

Later in the evening, Jiya was busy with one of her favorite things - doodling on her palm and wrist with a red pen claiming to be applying 'mehndi'. Her grandmother asked her to give the pen to her as she wanted to work with it. And this is the conversation that followed:

Jiya: I won't give this to you. You take another one!
Grandma: I don't have another one. Please give me this one!
Jiya: Then you can buy another one from the market.
Grandma: How can I buy another one?
Jiya: Are you a boy or a girl?
Grandma: You tell me!
Jiya: Girl!
Grandma; Then?
Jiya: Boys have wallets and girls have purses! So you take money from a purse and buy a red pen from the market. I will not give you this one!

Huh! I am actually amazed at the way these two think!

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Yay to a happy beginning at play school

Aah ..so it took Jiya to start play school to shove me out of the self imposed hiatus. Undoubtedly a big milestone! We went through tough winters this year in ways more than one - illnesses took away major chunks of time and energy but anyways that's not what I sat down to write about.

Jiya finally started play school today after us contemplating the thought for almost 5 months now. I expected her to cry and give me a tough time for at least 2-3 weeks, if not more, considering that she is often found 'charging herself on her charging pad' which happens to be my shoulder, several times in a day, refusing to go to anyone else in the house no matter what the bait; she refuses to let go of my lap in a new situation or even in a very familiar situation like going to the park, when there are good number of people around, even if they are reasonably familiar to her. Her reactions about going to school had been varied. More often than not, when asked whether she would go to school, she would say only when she grows up and it kept going on like that. She seemed keen to go but nowhere in the near future. Basically I expected there to be water works and tantrums and the like. But she just went. A little resistance to leave my hand but her teacher just picked her in her lap and took her inside her classroom where the kids were singing the 'ABC' rhyme. I resisted the urge to peep inside because the longer I stayed, the greater the chance of her crying became. We decided to start her with an hour today and at the end of the hour, she was just as fine. Her teacher told me she colored and gelled well with the kids and asked me to bring her for 2 hours tomorrow. Phew!! Goes on to show how well we assume we know our kids and how they just wait for their turn to prove us wrong :)

I waited, just as eagerly for the conversation between the siblings once Vansh returned from his school. They are getting more and more meaningful, retaining the innocence and the charm at the same time. He had been very excited since Saturday about Jiya starting school from Monday. He asked her what she did to which she said "I colored". He asked "What else?" "Nothing else" came the reply :)

I stop here right now ..there's lots to write and share with you who read this and with myself when the kids are all grown and I get back to this blog to read about what my days once used to be like. I often think about those days to come and I smile. To be honest at this point of time I long for those days when there would be no more tantrums, no more screaming and yellings, no more getting every request of mine being met with resistance, no more physical tiredness from tending to two young children. However, I look at some friends who are there already and sense in them a longing to be back in my shoes :) The circle of life ..as elusive as ever.

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Tidbits

Some days I really wish I had more time on my hands to jot down the bitter sweet hapenings of these early years of the kids. It is so interesting to hear them talk so much and get to know what they think, how they make sense of the world around them. Anyways let me attempt to ruffle up a quick post about tiny tidbits with one eye on the clock above me which shows they'll be up from their afternoon nap any minute and the other eye on them, one on each level of the bunk bed, a rare and a precious sight.

- We took the kids to pick out their shoes last weekend to a neighborhood market shop. Vansh picked out the most gaudy looking shiny red and black pair. I tried to (not so) gently encourage him to pick more sober ones but Ashwini told me to let him has his way rather than fighting everyday over making him wear it. Wise man, considering that just the previous night, we had spent over 45 minutes doing just that - fighting over what he wanted to wear at the birthday party and what we thought he would look 'dressed for the occasion' in. Ashwini learnt his lesson in those 45 minutes, the silly me forgot even after such episodes every other day.

- While on shoes, all Jiya wants to wear are her golden sandals wherever she goes. Even to the toilet, yeah! and the park. She doesn't mind being the only one even after I point out to her that all kids she knows there are wearing shoes. I am waiting for the 'conformity' factor to kick in. Right now she also likes to flaunt her picked 'color of the day' chunni with whatever it is she is wearing - skirt, jeans, frock! Why wouldn't she - after all she does manage to catch everybody's attention and often adulation. Churis and bindis are a regular feature too and nailpolish she brings thrice a day to me. I swear I have no idea how she got into it so thick because I am nowhere close to what she is aiming to be!

- Sibling love shines through many a times during a day these days. They still fight like cats and dogs, often making me nervous to even take that bathroom break. Friends ask me why I take them out so much even to nonsensical places at times and I tell them that's because I find it impossible to control/keep them entertained at home! Like I said it becomes hard for me to go use the bathroom, even. Anyways back to sibling love. These two have wonderful conversations when Vansh returns from school. Jiya tells him the highlight of her day and Vansh shares his. Today from a collection of goody bags he had got as it was three of his classmates' birthday, he took out a packet of Cadbury Gems and told Jiya he had got it for her because she likes it so much :) And when Jiya shows him her mehndi she has doodled on her hands with a pen or any such small thing, he responds with an "Arre wah! yeh to bahut accha hai!" I wonder how he suddenly grows up so much around her.

..... might be continued ... :)

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Dear Grandchildren

I write this letter to you as a mother to your dad, who is now 4 and a half and would be 30 something when u read this, with the exact intention of letting you know all that he did to me. I already look up to you to avenge me - the drama, the tantrums, the ignoring, the whining! Your grandma writes to you to give you ideas to do all this and more as I watch from the corner finally smiling that triumphant smile and waving my fore finger and nodding my head to say "See, life does come full circle!"

- Starting morning, as I give him his bed milk (yeah that's a 4 year old's equivalent of bed tea), he wants to drink it propped against one particular pillow, with one and only one particular teddy bear in hand, all the curtains drawn and the door shut with me outside. As I rush back after 10 minutes as the time demands for him to be bathed immediately to be ready for school in time, I see the glass still half full and him sleeping peacefully and he asks for some more time to finish that half glass which ultimately he still doesn't!

- After being bathed, he takes delight in taking off that towel and running naked all around the house making sure no one misses that visual often in front of the window as well for the outside world to see, after being told a thousand times its not right.

- When I call him to wash his hands/brush his teeth/go use the bathroom, he comes up with a hundred and twenty seven things to do that he just remembered on his way to the wash basin and that need his immediate attention. Why don't I just let him be you ask, well one that too is met by him flinging himself around my legs and shouting why I treat him like this and two, well who do you think would have to deal with stomach flu's and rotten teeth ..ah the price one has to pay to be a parent!

- When I tell Jiya, your bua, that the chocolates in the fridge are finished and the market is closed to get any more, he tells me not to lie to her right there in front of her and argues endlessly when I try to explain!

- On being told that we are going somewhere on a particular day, he asks me a hundred and thirty six questions on a typical day till the time we actually go which range from which mode of transport would we be going by, why can't we use any other, why we are going, when would we come back, when does tomorrow come, when do day and night come, what is today and what is tomorrow, but why isn't today tomorrow - you get the drift, right?!

Its a struggle kids, it really is ...so go ahead now's your time and now's HIS turn! I am here to support you!

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Conversations ...

...between the siblings - sweet, innocent, delightful, fill up our household with much cheer these days. Its sheer joy listening to their understanding of the complexities of the world and how it functions. One such conversation went like this

Jiya (to Vansh) - dhishkaaon, dhishkaaon (some gun sounds)

Vansh: Jiya aise nahin karo, main aapko chowkidaar ke paas le jaaonga. (Jiya, don't do that or else I'll take you to the guard) and goes on to pick her up by putting his hands under her arms.

Jiya: Nahin, nahin, nahin, nahin. Sorry bhaiya! (No, no, no, no, sorry big brother)

Vansh: Theek hai, ab nahin le jaaoonga! Mamma, Jiya ne sorry bol diya. Ab use chowkidar ke paasle jaane ki zarrorat nahin hai! (Alright, I won't take you now. Mom, I don't need to take Jiya to the guard now!)

Jiya (with a naughty twinkle in her eye) : Dhishkaaon, dhishkaaon

... and runs away with Vansh running after her, the house reverberating with their squeals. :)

And these conversations are the rays of hope and of delight in the tough times we have been facing for the last close to 2 months. Jiya has been catching one infection after another. It started with an ear infection. The ENT specialist that we went to prescribed 7 medicines for her including antibiotics. I read about it extensively on the internet and gave her only 2 - the acitamenophen and the ear drops and it went away. Some masty 9-10 boils followed all over her body. After the 4th boil, when they refused to subside and continued to pop up, she was prescribed a week of antibiotics. A week or so later when I took her to her pediatrician for a fever, which thankfully turned out to be viral and went away in a couple of days, a more serious problem was diagnosed. Her lymph nodes in the neck area were swollen, most likely because of the bacterial skin infections earlier and another week of antibiotics followed accompanied by medicines for relieving the fever. More medicines had to be added to counter the side effects of the antibiotics because she had developed blisters deep inside her mouth. I hate giving 5 ml of so many medicines when all you needed in the US was 1.6 ml of Tylenol sparingly but then I don't have a choice. A possible reason for the swollen lymph node could be that her ear infection never healed properly which is why this happened - I can never know. She cries and cries. I have to literally force her little body under my legs as I lay her down, force open her mouth and hold it open with one hand and hold her nostrils shut with the other as I put the syringe/dropper filled with the medicine and empty it there so that she can't spit it out. 3-4 meds at one time takes close to an hour which means the poor child spends close to 3 hours crying resisting the awfulness which is still forced upon her.

And then suddenly she started getting up in the middle of the night and howling like crazy. She would slither away from our hands and just cry endlessly. After trying a lot of things and watching her diet very carefully, on the third such night we just took her to the Emergency. The doctor there prescribed gas and colic drops. We called her ped the next morning and he asked us to get a urine test and culture and a stool test. Instinctively I knew it was a Urinary Tract Infection and I was right. The ped told us that it had been detected early and it could have led to much worse symptoms. So she is on another week of unavoidable antibiotics. Always a petite baby, she now looks more lean than ever and as a result everyone notices and comments - advices on what to feed her and how, what and what not to do follow - well meaning but it gets a lot at times. Unfortunately its become a vicious cycle I think - infections, antibiotics, low body resistance, more infections - yikes!!

I just pray to God to break the cycle soon. Very very thanfully she's a chirpy child throughout the day. And I am getting better at shortening the medicine administering and hence the crying time.

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