5 months after the move

I like...
... Being just a few miles away from my parents place, being able to meet them more often and just a mental satisfaction that I'll be there to share their ups and downs, help and support them whenever the need be.

... Looking at the children being loved and cared for by grandparents and uncles and aunts and them basking in all the love and attention they get, watching the circle of love grow as I am able to watch from a distance

... being at a place where the temperatures allow us to go to a neighborhood park every single day uptil now unlike Minnesota where we were pndoors for a large part of the year.


... Fancying to eat any Indian delight - aloo chaat, golgappas, tikki, samosas, jalebi and not having to make it myself - ah HEAVEN!!

... The fact that a mop, a bucket of water and a bottle of phenyl is all it takes to take care of that upturned palatte of watercolors or worse still poop on the floor as opposed to fancy carpet cleaners and scrubbing and the innumerable carpet steam cleaning sessions we never seemed to have enough of because of the largely carpetted area we had in our apartment.


I miss ...

... Sorely the public library which was a 3 minute drive from our apartment, allowed us to check out a 100 books at a time out of which we had a changing supply of 50 at any given time and I could search and request books at the click of a button as soon as anything caught the kids fancy from cars and trucks and planes to squirrels and kangaroos to statue of liberty or niagara falls, firefighters to garbage truck drivers, volcanoes, doodlebops, caillou,woody, buzz lightyear, anything under the sun.This was apart from the regular visits where Vansh picked up books he liked there. The standards are so high that its impossible for anything to even come close. I am finding it hard to come to terms with reality. BOOHOO!!

... The independence of driving alone anywhere with the both the kids securely strapped in their car seats at the back. Right now the little one cannot be trusted to stay put even with the seat belt on as intermittently she just refuses to sit herself anywhere else other than my lap. I am taking baby steps of giving her books to read at the back, trying explaining to her, doling out her favorite rhymes one after the other and keeping fingers crossed for the strategies to work.

...The ease of riding a bus with both the kids which they absolutely lurved to do. For that matter the ease of going any damn where alone with both the kids, one in stroller and the other just holding it.

...The variety of activities we could indulge in when the weather was good - carrying cycles to a beautiful trail closeby or at a good distance and enjoying the beauty, spending almost every weekend at the beach which the kids loved, several of which were within a 5 mile radius, the garage sales, storytimes at the library, splash pads and the likes.


... The "me" time for a couple of hours after the kids went to bed by 9:30. Here they refuse to sleep until each and every light is turned off and each and every person is sound asleep or at least pretending to do so.


... Having Ashwini back home by 6:00 and then spending at least 3 hours as a family until the dreaded off shore calls began again. The working hours are just too long. BOOHOO yet again!!

Share

The FIRST day of BIG School

Even as several other posts lie unfinished in my drafts from Vansh's birthay celebrations (with pictures for those who are looking forward to those :) ), Jiya's 21st month update (which incidentally started as her 16th month update back in the US), this one certainly takes precedence over all the rest. For undoubtedly its a huge step. To come to think of it as one of the most important journeys a human being undertakes would be perfectly apt; the journey to knowledge, to empowerment, the journey to learn which plays a major role in shaping one's thoughts, the person one is.
I am glad Vansh was looking forward to it with much enthusiasm, one because he would have to get up at 7:00, exactly 10 minutes before dad leaves for office and would thus be able to bid him goodbye, somethig which he missed doing here but needed a school to go to to wake him up at that hour. And two because, smitten as he is by everyone scurrying about in the morning picking up their bags, lunch boxes, THEIR ID CARDS, he was way too excited to do that himself and to be taken to school in a yellow school bus. He had been talking about this day for a long time. And even though he shouted that he wanted to sleep some more when I first woke him up, it took him the shortest unit of time to get up and about as I reminded him that this was indeed the day. HE was quick with finishing his milk, getting ready for his bath, wearing his brand new school uniform (which he would have liked to be in a different color), followed by breakfast. I made 'bhori' for him today, one of his favorite breakfasts, which is basically a chapati crushed and mixed with some melted butter and sugar.

I, Jiya and papa (Vansh's dada) dropped him off in the car today and I would go to pick him up in the afternoon and then board the school bus to let the driver know where his bus stop would be. So another couple of days before his dream of going alone in a school bus comes true :) On our way, my mind raced to exactly 4 years back when Vansh turned 2 weeks on this day. What was I doing at that time - getting him ready for his two week check up or coochie cooing to him as he lay awake at night? Scenes from these past years flashed by - the gurgles, the first wobbly baby steps, the toothless smiles, the tears as we first separated during his summer camp, the giggles that followed after a few days. And now this little baby from not very long back was a bright young boy with a twinkle in his eyes whom I was going to drop to his very first day at school. Yet again, it really has been 4 years?!

He smiled on his way to the classroom obliging me with some good smiley shots. He looked just a tad bit apprehensive as we entered the classroom full of about 25 or so kids but nothing too bothersome.

After meeting his classteacher, I settled him down on a semi circular table with about 5-6 chairs. He was immediately called on to the adjoining chair by another little boy sitting there and in a matter of minutes, as I returned after keeping Vansh's books on the front table, I saw both of them tapping the table with their hands and giggling. I was glad we had had several opportunities which had taken care of the tears earlier.

As we watched for a few minutes from outside the window, we just stood there and took in the scene as it unfolded before us - some kids were crying, a little girl was just sitting with her head on the table, some parents were talking to the teachers present in the room, a teacher was blowing bubbles to distract some children, Vansh sat on his chair watching everyone too. I thanked God for blessing us with such small everyday joys, of being a party to such little yet momentous occasions, of watching the fortunate kids and their families who can afford a good education in their element.

Well I, the fond mother of my sonny little boy, do wish him a wonderful journey ahead. I wish he has many many moments from these early years which he cherishes forever and which help him form a positive outlook towards schooling and more importantly towards learning. I pray to God to take care of him, to bless him and be there for him at every step to guide him in the right direction. And I also request you, my dear readers and well wishers, to just say a little prayer for him as you wish him well :)

Share

As the temperatures soar ...

... the siblings have a ball splashing water at each other in the bathroom and getting drenched. Another favorite that follows is running around the house in towels as mom happily clicks away. Ah the simple pleasures of life!!

Edited to add: After 3 harsh winters in Minnesota, March doesn't quite seem like it :) No one's complaining!

Share

4 year old, already ?!

Dear Vansh

I know how cliched it sounds to say I can't believe you are 4 years old already. But hard as I try to think of something else to begin your 4 year old birthday letter with, I fail. Because it really is incredible to think that actually 4 years have passed since you set foot in this world taking your own sweet time even at that time (some things never change ??), especially for me at this stage when we have just returned to India and I am filled with nostalgia as I look at things and people and places which seem to be just the same as I left them making me feel as if it was just yesterday that we left to the US. But then I look at you and I know its been a while, quite a long while in fact. A while which turned the small little baby into this wanting to be 18 (thats the official driving age in case you are wondering why 18) but thankfully still 4 year old boy! Thank God for not granting every wish kids have!

Yeah driving, thats your passion already and what constitutes 70% if not more of your conversations. From the US car brands to now the Indian ones as well, to which of your friends has which car, to who drives at what speed complete with sound effects, you even say that you run at 100 ki speed when practising for sports day. You dream and talk about buying race cars, orange and purple cars for yourself and for everyone in the family. You even pretend that a simple cardboard box is a car with an imaginary steering wheel. The next thing that has caught your fancy is the metro train and you say that you'll do the construction for that when you grow up. This is till the rumbling roaring garbage truck passes by and catches your attention and you decide to be the garbage truck driver instead :) Our car then stops at the doctor's office where you very reluctantly let the doctor give you the shot that you need, crying all the while as I hold you and then decide to be a doctor and administer the first shot to me. In fact that's what you have asked for your 4th birthday - a doctor set, adding for my benefit "Phir main aapko shot lagaoonga!" I smile and wish your innocence lasts for as long as possible and the ability to dream lasts forever. Big or small, dreams are a major factor in driving us right?!

There has been a drastic change in you from the last time we visited India when you were 3. While you preferred staying by yourself or a couple of people whom you trusted and grew mighty upset when someone tried to come close to you, this time you have become pretty good at carrying out conversations with almost everyone. Physical closeness still annoys you but you do talk about your school and how you shave every morning before leaving for your office in Gurgaon in a cab and how you get things/toys for Jiya when you return making everyone you talk with smile at how you talk like in such a grown up fashion. Yeah you love acting like a grown up and being treated like one. So as you pick up the fruit basket and pretend that its your laptop bag and juggle some 3-4 books in one hand and a toy mobile in the other as you wave good bye, take care, have a nice day; after a few minutes you ask me to call you at office, address me by name and tell me about the lunch that you've had and the meetings that you are scheduled to have. And oh you don't forget to ask what I need you to pick up from Rainbow foods on your way back :) Save for your voice, I wouldn't know whether its you I am talking to or your dad. Its no wonder cos I know he's your hero. What a lovely age indeed.!. I honestly wouldn't tire of playing such games with you ever.

A bag of questions, a huge one at that, not surprisingly every comment or piece of information or an instruction to do something is met by the big question Why! Why do I need to wash my hands, brush my teeth, take a bath, drink milk, eat food again and again (your idea of Utopia is needing food once in like a month - yeah), go to school, get shots, the list is endless. Though now I have come up with an idea of bouncing off the same question which I have answered before umpteen times back at you and you do come up with the precise answer, I wonder why you ask the same questions often. At times you come up with silly answers to your own questions because well you just love being silly and then giggling away. Things that make you laugh the hardest include letting you put soap on my face when I am giving you your bath, messing up the words to make them rhyme for instance you love to say car, lar, zar rhyme, motor cycle, potor pykle, dotor dydle rhyme, making the most ridiculous facial expressions (you love doing the same for the camera), pretending to suddenly fall while walking or doing something and of course the slightest of tickle. Its hard to have you narrate anything for us because your need to act all loony is sure to surface up at such times.

Your strengths include your fabulous memory where you remember small little things we said or did from a very long time back, how you refer to them when something similar happens and you are reminded of those often leaving us open mouthed; your direction sense where in you can remember where all a particular way takes us, identify places that you have visited a couple of times from the road leading to them; and love looking at maps from time to time to see how you flew from the US to India, where in India are Bombay where you have been insisting us to take you to ever since one of your friends from school went there and Kerala where your newly wed chacha chachi went for their honeymoon and you are wanting to go to too for your own :), where is Australia where your favorite animals, the kangaroos are found hopping with their babies in their pouches. For the same reason one of your favorite pastimes is looking at old pictures which you can spend hours doing. In fact if I realize that at the end of 15 minutes there has still not been a sound from you I can actually bet that you are sitting with an old album. You then talk about the pictures, how we had gone where and eaten what and played with what and so on and so forth. The things that fascinate you like planes and airports and bus stations, we can't even imagine what all is being registered as you eye things with keen detail. A few days back you picked up the letter E and the number 8 from the magnetic letters Jiya was playing with, out them together to form E8 and said that you had seen that combination at the airport. It had me thinking for a moment before the realization that it was the boarding gates you were talking about dawned on me.

Persistent, head strong and slow to adapt, a deadly combination which causes us the most worries when it comes to discipline issues. I would have termed them your weaknesses had I not read and agreed that once out of this sometimes terrible and seemingly unending phase of terrible two's and three's and ..., it can actually be an advantage. Right now its wanting your milk at just the right temperature - a degree cooler sends it back to the microwave, a degree warm to the freezer, refusal to try anything new - foods, foot wear, pillow, soft toy (what a nightmare it is to look for your lost teddy which religiously follows Murphy's law of getting lost when you need it most), playing with the remotes and the microwave buttons and all fan and lights switches and cell phones again and again and again. Chowkidars and doctors and electricians have to be pretended to be called to get you off those. Your spirited reactions to things which are not to your liking alarm me. Off late I have been the targets of several versions of "I hate you"! Honestly I hadn't expected them to begin at all, definitely not so soon. I cried the first time until I thought about it and I realized that its me you call first to share anything new with - whether its a triumph at a well turned out coloring page, any small discovery you make, any small pretend play you do, an alphabet you were able to write right or a distress at the legos tumbling from the structure you were making or not getting a puzzle piece to fit. And even though I don't like it one bit and do try to talk you out of it and even though I don't think either of us realizes it because we have practically spent each and every waking moment with each other but we do share a very very deep bond and are very perceptive of each others emotions. No wonder you shout "Talk to me!! Nicely!" or "Don't be sad" at the slightest twitch of my mouth or tell me not to cry when all you hear is just the sniffing. I also love to be the one to realize immediately from the slightest whimper or at times even before that what it is you are asking for, to be party to our own share of tidbits we share about small everyday things where just a 'yeh' or a 'woh' (this or a that) suffices instead of taking the actual name.

Huh! Its amazing as I scroll back to see how much I have written and how much more I feel I still have to say. It can't be tough for a mother to talk about her son right! But I guess I'll stop here or may be just for posterity let me try to enlist a few of your favorite things as you turn 4 today.

Favorite foods - Butter chicken, fish, home made veggie pizza, pineapple, orange and off late Gulab Jamun

Favorite color - Orange hands down (has been for the longest time)

Favorite rhyme - Auto wallah aaya, jaldi jaldi aaya, horn bajaake aaya, pom pom pom :)

Favorite people - Nana, dada, chachi and Chinki mama.

Favorite activities - acting silly, puzzles, pretending to be a grown up, going out for day outings to parks, boating, zoo, etc.

So here's wishing you son with utmost love an absolutely wonderful year ahead filled with love filled moments for you to cherish always, much luck as you soon set foot into your new school and begin a new chapter in your life, happiness and joy to fill your days and good wishes for you today and always.

With all the love in my heart, Mom.

Share

Everyday moments ...

... from the kids' initial few days in India

- Vansh would come home from outside and take off his footwear at the doorstep. It took him a certain degree of getting used to keep his chappals on even when at home. We got to see some funny sights when after being told to have them on at all times, he would sit with them on the bed munching away on something or going through a book. After being told to take them off when he sits somewhere, he took them off even when he sat on the chair at the dining table to have his meals. I, once in a moment of impatience, chided him on again taking off his chappals when we had told him to have them on at all times to which he said out of part impatience and part tearfully "Phir woh chair ganda ho jayega". I couldn't help but smile at his innocent confusion.
- We once went for a daytime birthday party at Deer Park. We were an hour into the party when Vansh said he wanted to pee. Not wanting to search for the restroom which are usually hard to find at such places and more often than not unclean, I took him to the corner of the park we were in and asked him to pee there. He refused saying that it was dirty and he would wait until we reached home. Jiya, who now follows the elder sibling like her greatest hero, followed us there as well and started taking off her pants and repeatedly saying choo choo, choo choo (for susu) and demanded her diaper be taken off as well. She refused to be taken away and had to be distracted with great effort to leave the corner alone. Vansh actually waited for almost 2-3 hours more and went only after reaching home.
- Now, after almost a month of the previous incident, things have taken a 180 degrees turn. In the afternoon, while playing in the neighborhood park, his dadi took him to the corner when he wanted to pee which he agreed to after initial reluctance and then when I took him to the park in the evening, he wanted to go pee again. I told him to wait for about 15-20 minutes till we reached home but he insisted that he wanted to pee in the grass in the corner. There were two wires fencing off some area where I took him and he aimed at several positions - above the higher one, below the lower one and in between both as he peed giggling away :)
- While we were somewhat used to Vansh humming away some favorite nursery rhyme sometimes, I can't help smiling when I hear him humming "Oye oye lucky lucky" ..the power of desi FM :)
And now for a pictorial update of some funny and some warm moments I managed to capture on film

Jiya finds some new playthings
and learns some lessons from the Indian fashion industry
Snuggles up with dada to one of her favorite activities

as Vansh continues his efforts of being treated like like an adult by acting like one - here diligently reading the newspaper and concentrates with glasses et al to see who's trying to reach him.
Jiya concentartes hard on building a tower
Vansh beams proudly when after much effort, he succeeds in writing 6 correctly :) "Writre a C and make a circle at the end of it" is what worked for us.
Jiya feeds and is fed by dada.
Vansh dresses up for Republic Day celebrations in his preschool but is not very happy wearing this new attire.

Vansh snuggles up with chacha aka Vansh's bumpy bed.

The dining table continues to be Jiya's favorite spot and she insists on putting anything that can serve as a headband to be used as just that - here with the nylon covering that comes with some fruits.

Vansh snuggles up with dada at India Gate lawns

He gives us some rare moments of peace in the house when he sits down with his Legos and actually does a good job creating things with them - a ship here.

Jiya uses her new potty seat as a means of transporting every possible thing in the house from one spot to another and as a result creating a mad house in the morning with people getting ready for office scurrying around the house trying to find their comb and cream and the likes.

Share

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I'll be there behind you

You don't have to call, you don't have to say

Just think about me and I'll be on my way

The above holds just apt for the phase Jiya and Vansh are going through right now. Jiya follows her big brother around like a shadow and imitates each and every action he does or every word he says. So the 'no's' and the loud nahin's and the angry roars all come in twos now. As do the running around giggling away and talking on the phone with hmm, hmmm, accha accha for the real effect. Its tantrums multiplied by two as are the laughs and the cheer.

Playing hide and seek, but oops ...who hides?!
Sitting on the sofa sipping milk/water
The climbers Hello? Who's this?

Looking out ...
A rare moment of both the siblings sitting so close and not fighting

Another one ...

Share

Our School Story by far

The other day I was chatting online with a friend who is also going through the nursery admissions in Delhi for her son and is currently at her parents' place down south. Their family also moved back from the US at the same time as ours because of the same reason of having their son start his schooling here which is why we had some long conversations over the phone and shared notes and experiences and got close over a very short period of time without even having met each other. As we discussed about the schools and our interactions there and about our children, she said that her son would only do good in a school where there isn't too much pressure or more precisely too much strictness on doing things a certain way. I felt she was writing about my own son and more importantly realized that I hadn't paid attention to this aspect while applying in schools or while waiting for their results. I did enquire about almost every school from one of my Education professors, whom I hold in very high esteem and whose opinion I value and trust, and who goes to various schools taking students pursuing education as part of their teacher training programme and thus has a very good first hand experience of the way things function in a school. Having studied in Delhi myself, I myself too have a fair idea about various schools and also got in touch with several parents on a website dedicated solely to this purpose of fellow parents helping each other in whatever way they can to make the process as smooth as possible. I do wish and hope that Vansh gets through a good school where the teachers know how to strike a balance, know the difference between encouraging and pushing and most importantly of all are able to make him feel happy and secure about the whole school experience but at the same time, all the knowledge about the schools and about my own child didn't stop me for applying in schools that I actually wouldn't be very happy sending him to. Unfortunately like many other well educated, well settled and well balanced parents, I too don't have a choice. What if he doesn't make it in any of the schools of my choice. Waiting another year would make the problem worse because admissions become even more difficult as with every passing grade, the number of seats dwindle. This year itself we were rejected by four schools by far because Vansh would be 4 years 14 days old on the deadline of Mar 31, 2009 when actually a child should be 3+ on that date. I am in a way glad about the rejection because those schools don't value our decision about not having sent our 3 years 14 days old son last year as we felt he was just not ready for the indeed huge step in every child's life. But the state of affairs does sadden me not just for myself but for many other parents who wait anxiously for each date when a school is supposed to come out with their first or second or third list, who add their points and pray and wait with crossed fingers, who have worked very hard themselves in their
education as well as work career and even then are not guaranteed a good education for their child and even more for those who for some unavoidable circumstances were not able to do too well for themselves but dream and hope for making it happen for their child. And unfortunately I have no remedial measures to suggest for the way things are happening. Most schools are following a very fair point system where they allocate points to distance, siblings, alumni, parents education and profession and may be a couple more criteria varying from school to school. Something radical needs to be done. The public school system needs a complete facelift so that the common man doesn't feel the need to send his child to only private schools and shell out exorbitant amounts as one fee or the other in the process. With a request by private schools to the Delhi High Court impending approval, the annual fee in any decent private school would be close to a whopping one lakh rupees per annum (+/- 15%). Its a crazy amount and I would be very happy to put it away for my children's future if only I have a choice today of sending them to a government school and being sure about the way they will be educated. Unfortunately I can't even be sure of the kind of toilets they'll be using. Without going into statistics, from first hand experience of my own mother and mother in law being teachers in government schools, I can say that the student teacher ratio to begin with is dismal. The teachers are getting increasingly over worked and in general there is so much displeasure and unhappiness in the air.

While we have been fortunate to get through a fairly decent school in our neighborhood and another couple of so-so ones, we wait with bated breath, literally, for our topmost choice ones. As
I write this, I realize what it must look like to the reader as if its a topmost university admissions and not just nursery admissions I talk about but thats the way it is. We shall remember this time in our lives for a long time to come.

Share