Chicago - Part I

As I loaded the dishwasher and went over the happenings of the day, I realized what an eventful one it had been. Not just the day, in fact this week had been pretty significant. The second car on Monday, Vansh's first day of school on Tuesday, the bed today, Jiya's Kids Club class, a preschool tour, a successful visit to the Social Security Office, and waiting for a few more big ones in the next few days. I also realized that I am never going to get time to get back to my blog, I'll have to make time in the midst of it all. So as I am waiting for the milk to cool for setting the curd, I switched on the computer and resisted the urge to go onto craigslist for finding an easel and a tent with a tunnel and after a quick look at my inbox, opened blogger. The kids are growing up way too fast with personalities emerging and changing with lightning speed and I wish at least to pen down the big points if not all.

The few friends who still follow my blog probably know already that 3 weeks back we moved to Chicago. Yeah destiny again showed its enormous presence and owing to Ashwini's job we moved yet again. What we had thought to be the final move a little over two years back turned out to be not so. Now the post can take several directions but what I had in mind foremost was to pen down how the kids are taking it, how they are conducting themselves while interacting with peers at school, at other classes, etc, how they are feeling and the likes.

I am rather pleased that they are not giving me a hard time as I had expected they would. From a joint family filled with much love and pampering and many sights and sounds all day long, someone to play with and talk to any time of the day you feel like, the charged atmosphere that results from just the fact that you are staying in a city like Delhi, to the stark contrast of the noiselessness of a quiet Chicago suburb, the weather still not conducive to pulling people out of their homes for walks and hence some socializing in a new place, I had expected them to be dull and bored the first few weeks. Luckily they were very excited about the new surroundings, literally soaking in the newness of every experience they got. From spotting the familiar goldfish (from 2 years back :)) on the Target aisles, the Cheetos that they always used to have with a Subway sandwich, the chalupa at Taco Bell, Vansh was rather happy to see he had familiarities to come back to here.

His interaction with people around has been splendid. Not withstanding that his spoken English needs much improvement, he doesn't hesitate all to say what comes to his mind when someone talks to him. He conducts himself very confidently. Two weeks back, I was at the park and in my conversation with a gentleman who was there with his son told him that we had moved from India a few days back. Vansh added to say that "we come by Lufthansa from India to Munich and Munich to Chicago". At the library, when a librarian asked him how he was he said "I work (am working) on the computer just like office!" Yesterday at his school, they took the children to the computer lab and had them do something (draw a flower, he says) on iMacs. He, needless to say, was elated and told me that today asked his teacher whether they would be going everyday to which she said no. I can bet had she said yes, his next question would have been would they be getting a laptop/iPad for home.

Jiya was confident too in her preschool program today. In a few minutes was ready to leave me and join the group for a bubble making activity. Right now she is enrolled for just once a week class and I told her that if she does well there, plays with other kids, talks to them and the teacher, I would enroll her in a dance/music class since she loves it. She is on the shy and reserved side though she is getting better. To which she said "I promise I will be good! Please enroll me now only."

In the mornings when they were home, the kids chatted with both set of grandparents and their chacha chachi, who are missing them enormously, almost everyday. Vansh told them about everything he had been doing, the new things he had been getting, showed it to them on the webcam and alongside got a chance to browse nokia and blackberry sites since he got the laptop not password protected during this time. He is way too crazy about phones and computers. He now troubleshoots online when something is not working at the grandparents' end much to their delight and admiration! At that time, the kids are almost like there again, sharing notes, making silly faces, laughing. Its really heartening that technology lets us do so much inspite of being far away.

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5 months after the move

I like...
... Being just a few miles away from my parents place, being able to meet them more often and just a mental satisfaction that I'll be there to share their ups and downs, help and support them whenever the need be.

... Looking at the children being loved and cared for by grandparents and uncles and aunts and them basking in all the love and attention they get, watching the circle of love grow as I am able to watch from a distance

... being at a place where the temperatures allow us to go to a neighborhood park every single day uptil now unlike Minnesota where we were pndoors for a large part of the year.


... Fancying to eat any Indian delight - aloo chaat, golgappas, tikki, samosas, jalebi and not having to make it myself - ah HEAVEN!!

... The fact that a mop, a bucket of water and a bottle of phenyl is all it takes to take care of that upturned palatte of watercolors or worse still poop on the floor as opposed to fancy carpet cleaners and scrubbing and the innumerable carpet steam cleaning sessions we never seemed to have enough of because of the largely carpetted area we had in our apartment.


I miss ...

... Sorely the public library which was a 3 minute drive from our apartment, allowed us to check out a 100 books at a time out of which we had a changing supply of 50 at any given time and I could search and request books at the click of a button as soon as anything caught the kids fancy from cars and trucks and planes to squirrels and kangaroos to statue of liberty or niagara falls, firefighters to garbage truck drivers, volcanoes, doodlebops, caillou,woody, buzz lightyear, anything under the sun.This was apart from the regular visits where Vansh picked up books he liked there. The standards are so high that its impossible for anything to even come close. I am finding it hard to come to terms with reality. BOOHOO!!

... The independence of driving alone anywhere with the both the kids securely strapped in their car seats at the back. Right now the little one cannot be trusted to stay put even with the seat belt on as intermittently she just refuses to sit herself anywhere else other than my lap. I am taking baby steps of giving her books to read at the back, trying explaining to her, doling out her favorite rhymes one after the other and keeping fingers crossed for the strategies to work.

...The ease of riding a bus with both the kids which they absolutely lurved to do. For that matter the ease of going any damn where alone with both the kids, one in stroller and the other just holding it.

...The variety of activities we could indulge in when the weather was good - carrying cycles to a beautiful trail closeby or at a good distance and enjoying the beauty, spending almost every weekend at the beach which the kids loved, several of which were within a 5 mile radius, the garage sales, storytimes at the library, splash pads and the likes.


... The "me" time for a couple of hours after the kids went to bed by 9:30. Here they refuse to sleep until each and every light is turned off and each and every person is sound asleep or at least pretending to do so.


... Having Ashwini back home by 6:00 and then spending at least 3 hours as a family until the dreaded off shore calls began again. The working hours are just too long. BOOHOO yet again!!

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From the other side

First of all I have to thank you, my blogging friends for your good
wishes on our move back and I apologise for not being able to reply to
each one of you personally. But I do appreciate them all. Getting
settled, erring internet connections at times and big and little
things taking up my attention and energy is what preventd me from
doing so. I have been missing reading blogs and generally having some
time to myself for reading and writing but am giving us time to settle
down .

Its a strange kind of feeling as I visit my parents to stay with them
for few days before settling down into everyday life once Ashwini
reaches, starts office, Vansh starts school and we begin a new chapter
in life here. I see some small changes here and there, some parks
better kept, few new houses, few others with their look changed but
for the major part everything's still the same, the same cars parked
at the same spots around the park right in front, even the same
familiar number plates which one doesn't actually remember but
suddenly recognises with a flash the moment one spots them, the same
people walking with the same gaits I remember and associate them with.
Even at home I know exactly where anything is kept. I still grope in
the dark for the hair drier on the second last shelf in my mother's
cupboard and find it there, the same cups line the utensils rack in
the kitchen - it seems like I was here just a week back and nothing
has changed in the past week. Until I look at my children running
around the house, one after the other or down on all fours driving a
truck or a plane. And its then that I realise that what seems like
just a blink of an eye has actually been 5 long years. Life is indeed
strange when it strikes you like that.

children are having a ball. Its the best vacation time for them -
spending time with both set of grandparents, going out to parks,
watching TV, they are loving it all. For the first few days Vansh
remembered his teachers at preschool and our neighbors saying that Ms
Debra or Lopa aunty would be missing Vansh. Thereafter he does remeber
them off and on when he spots a phone a particular friend of ours had
or when he sees a cartoon character whose shirt his friend wore. Just
this past weekend he suddenly felt a strong urge to go back when he
chatted with his dad and saw him in our apartment there on the webcam.
He said he wanted to go there and play with papa and have chalupa at
Taco Bell. But when he realized that he would have to leave India and
go to US for that, he preferred waiting for his dad to come here.
Jiya is learning to say new words and imitate many new actions these
days. She goes "Thatam" for Khatam after she finishes something in her
mouth. When we ask her "Jiya ne kya khaya", she goes "Popcom" for
Popcorn. When we ask her "Nana kaise karte hain?", she lifts her index
finger, nods here head from side to side and says "No no no no no!" in
a sing song way. She is living up to her title of drama queen to the
tee. She cries loudly one minute and then if we say something to her
liking like mentioning going out for a walk, she immediately starts
laughing out loud.

Vansh is much better socially this time round than the last time we
visited 8 months back. At that time he refused to talk with anyone
else outside his circle of trust of 6-7 people and actually roared and
shouted if someone tried to come too close. Now he is socialy polite
with everyone and exchanges niceties when spoken to :) He still
prefers spending time with his entrusted circle consisting of our
immediate families and few cousins.

Both the kids absolutely love going to the park and the weather being
too good at this time of the year, late mornings to early evenings is
the best time to go. The past weekend we went to a birthday party at
Deer Park, a huge park in Hauz Khas where deer and peacocks roam
around in a pretty big enclosure. Both the kids were delighted to see
them and wanted to get as close as possible to them. Vansh even fed a
few whole peas to the deer and was in utter awe of the brown speckled
creatures and narrated the incident to everyone who cared to listen.
When with other children, he now leaves my side, unlike last time, and
runs and plays aroubd with them. However one hitting or bullying
incident among other kids is right now enough to woo him away and back
by my side for a long time. He then prefers and in fact takes delight
in chasing squirrels and pigeons and keeps asking me why he is not
able to touch them. Jiya follows him around as if he is her hero. Each
and every single action is viewed with awe and attempted to be
reproduced by her. I have close to 10 pictures where both of them are
doing the exact same thing and I'll post them pretty soon.
I am knee deep into Vansh's admission process into a proper school
this year and the situation is nightmarish to say the least. So its
getting forms, filling forms, making calls, following the school's
websites, preparing for interactions, communicating with other
aspiring parents hoping for a bright future for their little ones.
Wish us luck on this one.

So its me signing off now, not sure when I'll write again. But wishing
each one of you and your family a wonderful holiday season, a very
Merry Christmas and a joyous New Year 2009. Hope it brings much good
luck, great health and many many delightful moments for you to spend
and cherish.

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Random notes ...

...for my mind's too cluttered for anything coherent enough to merit a separate post by itself. For the last few days, I have been drafting several posts but that's where they remain - in the drafts - for the lack of time or concentration. This one too is from last Tuesday and today I thought let me post a last one before I finally move back to India and get back in the groove of writing again.

- So the date's finally final. Nov 29th it is when I and the kids head back to apna desh and yes I travel alone. Ashwini follows after 3 weeks. A couple of schools we have applied to have come out with schedules for parents' interaction in the first and second week of December, thus requiring me and the kids to fly ahead of his release date. Thankfully I got the preferred itinerary after several e-mails back and forth between Ashwini and the travel department of his company.

- Vansh is super excited about the move. Everytime he talks to his grandparents and this has been happening for the last month or so, he started out by saying "Main kal India aane wala hoon", the next time he spoke, he said "Main aaj shaam ko aa raha hoon", followed by "Main 5 minutes mein aa raha hoon" and now its finally down to "Main abhi aa raha hoon. Mummy chalo chalte hain."
When I went to his preschool last week on his last day there, his teachers joked that he has been telling them he is going to India ever since he went there in September. That's what he talks about when they take him to the loo. That's him - whosoever meets him for even a few minutes can by no way miss the things that he absolutely loves and hates during that particular time. So if you were to meet him today he would tell you, after of course telling you that he's going to India, that he likes to watch 'Alvin and the chipmunks', he likes to eat 'Orange chicken and fish', he does not like to eat dosa and that he is silly!! Yeah!

- So its taking stock, selling, packing, checking weight, opening, adjusting, throwing out and re-packing at our household these days. Looking at the ongoing selling spree, when we lay our hands on anything belonging to Vansh as small as the set of some redundant keys Vansh likes to play with, he says "Please meri keys mat becho!"

- Apart from the move,the kids are growing up way too fast. Its been a while since I did an update post for them and its been one new development after another. Jiya is the reigning drama queen who is already a 3 year old in the body of a 16 month old. Reverse psychology is what works with her and what I have been using to feed her her meals. I keep telling her "Jiya, mat kha, mat kha" to which she protests with a grunt, comes running to the dining table (yes, she doesn't sit there for more than 3-4 bites) and opens her mouth wide. Its working, so I let it be and am not too particular about making her sit on the table and then just whine or throw everything off and end up not eating.

- Her tantrums have gotten huge. She throws a fit whenever she doesn't get her way. She starts by pouting her lips followed by throwing whatever it is in her hand and then goes on to bawl at ear splitting decibel levels. Off late, I have been trying to make her pick up what she throws off in a fit. In the beginning that too was met by a tantrum but now she knows there is no way out. As is usually the case with second borns, we as parents are better prepared and don't lose temper too easily on these small things because we know the bigger ones are yet to come :)


- The dining table in the kitchen is her second home. She spends the better part of the day on it - takes her toys and plays with them over there, takes her books to look at, eats, colors or just looks around. I think she likes to come up to our level and enjoys the view of the world from there.

- She is a very very cuddly baby. Every few minutes, she would just come from whatever she is doing and hug us and kiss us and then go back again. She loves girls elder to her. Our next door neighbor and friend's daughter Antara and one of Vansh's preschool friend Shreya are her favorites and she showers them with generous doses of hugs and kisses.
- Vansh is getting more and more interesting by the day. His latest is pretending to be Ms Debra and Ms Jodi, his two preschool teachers. He acts very solemn and goes on to say "Two more minutes to playtime."; "Hold the rail friends!"; "Zack you are going to sit on, lets see, J today, Quinn is going to sit on mmm M" followed by some more incomprehensible English. Now that most of his toys are either packed or gone, he spends a lot of time playing pretend. He pretends that a blanket is a moving truck moving books or an empty toy box is a garbage truck carrying all the small remaining toys. This morning a maintenance guy was at our place for about 5 minutes to repair the dishwasher and Vansh pretended to be him for the next hour repeating the sentences he said and Vansh understood.

- Questions, questions, questions, truck loads of them. He now enjoys having all kinds of conversations and tries to understand more by asking more and more questions. At times, still the why's make no sense. At which point I just ignore it. I am right now finding it hard to remember snippets here. But it'll be a whole post soon.

Hah ...so that's that for today. I am a mixed bag of emotions right now. From being very very aversive to coming and staying in the US initially, away from family to finally being heavy hearted leaving it behind, its been a long journey spanning close to five years. Being married, motherhood two times round and being on our own in a country seven seas apart are reasons enough to make these five years truly memorable. Some great friendships, some great insights into the culture, getting to know the great parenting styles and oh the super cool public library system (yeah I am overly obsessed with it) will make me remember and cherish these years with much fondness.

So adieu friends! See you on/from the other side of the world!

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