Guilty?

Noon passed on this tag to me about mommy guilts and it was interesting to read her and Ro's and Art's confessions and feel like 'Oh, moms I admire and am so fond of do it too! I am not so bad after all;) " Here are the rules :-

1. Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children... been a wee bit selfish.
2. How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?
3. Tag 2 more moms

And after reading the above posts, I am not feeling so guilty after all. Anyways out of me and my husband, I am the thick skinned one.

- I think bedtime routine features in every mom's list. When I am putting my children to bed and looking forward to my 30-40 minutes of 'me' time (read internet time on most days) to catch up with friends et al, I sometimes read the books they bring hurriedly. Then they have themselves made up this routine where they want me to just rub their backs from inside their shirts till a count of 20 and for the last few days, they then ask me to just press their legs for a bit because they are so tired from playing and then V will want to give me a hug and then J and then V will want to end the hugging session with one last hug to him and then J would want the last one and basically they just try to elongate the whole routine which leads me to snap at them at times. V also asks me what I'll do once I finish cleaning the kitchen which I usually do only after they sleep especially in summers and I partly lie to him saying that I have some 'work' on the computer or I have to iron clothes (I don't tell him that I'll watch a movie alongside) because otherwise he'll want me to sleep with him. Whether I feel guilty - well I wish I had a clone who could give them the warmth and fuzzy feeling of sleeping with a parent every time they wished for it but don't think I am depriving them of something because I am doing a lot with them during daytime.

- One thing I do feel guilty about is when I stay up till too late watching a movie or spending time on the internet and then I wake up a little later than I intend to and then have to rush them through their waking up (they do take forever but I guess most kids do) or their breakfast and generally increasing everybody's stress levels, I feel like this could have been avoided! Anyways I am getting better with it and I know that once it becomes an everyday thing that both of them have to leave for their schools early, I would have to discipline myself and sleep early because I can go with less sleep for 3-4 weeks max and then it starts getting difficult.

I always love when Dipali writes about her mommyhood experiences because she's been through it all. So I tag her and also Cee Kay because I can't think of any guilts she may have, she's a saint mom in my eyes :)

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The 30 questions tag

1) LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?

Rang de Basanti ! Yeah that old.

2) WHAT BOOK ARE U READING?

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

3) FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

Scrabble - haven't played that for a while now.

Among kiddie board games, Candyland :)

4) FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

used to be Reader's Digest; now Parents.

5) FAVORITE SMELLS?

Cool Water - the Davidoff perfume; fresh roses; mitti after the pehli baarish; smell of a new born baby; johnsons and johnsons powder

6) FAVORITE SOUNDS?

a koel singing; ocean waves splashing

7) WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

the feeling that I get when I realise that I didn't stand up for what I believed

8) WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?

Is it Jiya screaming or Vansh ?

9) FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Panda express

10) FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?

I don't think I'll have any more

11) FINISH THIS STATEMENT—’IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D’

Go to many many wonderful places around the world, buy clothes by trucksful

12) DO YOU DRIVE FAST?

Nope

13) DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Not a stuffed animal, a pillow at times.

14)STORMS–COOL OR SCARY?

Cool

15) WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

Dad's fiat.

16) FAVOURITE DRINK?

Nimbu Pani , Lassi, Golgappe ka paani

17) FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD…

Help the needy in India.

18) DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?

No way!!

19) IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?

I wouldn't - am scared of all the chemicals. I do like the henna tinge though.

20) NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?

New Delhi, Sacramento, now suburb of Minneapolis

21) FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Cricket

22) ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

Honest about her feelings and always forthcoming with ideas to help me :)

23) WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?

Legos, sipper cups

24) WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN??

Yes!

25) MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?

Usually a night owl but love it during early mornings.

26) OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?

Sunny side up!

27) FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?

Huh ..ideally A beautiful island in the middle of a lake(aquamarine color would be ideal) with lots of tropical trees, yet quite sunny, an invigorating breeze with the only sounds being the splashing of water, the rustling of leaves by the breeze and the chirping of birds. Laying down leisurely on the sand, a book in hand.

For now, the couch will do.

28) FAVOURITE PIE?

Get me any!!!

29) FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

Nutty Buddy and Hot Chocolate Fudge at Nirula's, New Delhi and Mocha Almond Fudge here.

30) OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?

I am not tagging any one in particular. Take up the tag if you'd like :)

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Ten things ...

Swati and PG tagged me to do this one...

I am not sure I'll be able to come up with ten things on either list, which is partly the reason I had been putting it off for some time (sorry Swati :) ) - the other part of the reason was 2 young kids ..phew!! Don't even get me started on this one! These days I just keep trying to keep up with the pace life assumes with 2 little ones at home. Anyways thats besides the point for this post :)

... I miss right now

1. Being close to family.

2. Being there for the initial ceremonies as my dear brother-in-law just got engaged.

3. Being able to eat whatever I feel like eating without having to cook it myself :(

4. Being able to eat whatever I feel like eating without having to think about calories and carbs et al. (on second thoughts, does it make a difference to someone as thick skinned as me ..no it doesn't!!)

5. College days, spending masti time with friends, not having to worry about anything; having fun at teachers' cost :D

Would have to do with this for now.

...I would like to achieve in the next decade.

Hmm ..lets see. Vansh would be 13 and Jiya 11 at the end of this decade. So it would have to be ..

1. I would like to work wit them towards them having nice well rounded personalities. Sociable, respectful of others, confident, wisdom to know right from wrong, confident of seeking guidance if they are unsure themselves.

2. Being at peace. I read a short yet truly wonderful book during my stay at my parents' place this time titled 'Mauji baatein' by Swami Anubhavanda who is a proponent of being always happy or rather equanimous at all times and has a very fun way of putting forward the same with quips and amusing remarks which fill his speech and writings. One of the best advice I read in his book was that rather than trying to change or rather improve the people one deals with, one should nurture the virtue of acceptance in oneself. 'Accepting' people for what they are
rather than always thinking of ways they could 'imrove' themselves to make us happy. And he further goes on to say that then one can use this accepting attitude to assist thmeselves in deciding ways to deal with that person. An example being, we accept it as a fact that we can get an electric shock if we are not careful with electricity. Now with the knowledge and acceptance of this fact, we act in accordance and in fact use the very same electricity for our benefit. So rather than filling our minds with negative thoughts and grudges about people and 'reacting' to what they said or did to us and not being able to 'act' properly as a result, its better to lead our lives the other way round by 'acting' and not 'reacting'. This to me was very very insightful. And I wish to imbibe this as a principle in my life.

3. On a less philosophical note, I wish to continue having a healthy and happy family :)

4. I wish to visit and experience different places around the world, particularly the still not commercialized ones with untouched natural beauty in India.

5. I wish to manage more time for pursuing other interests like reading and watching National Geographic which have taken a back seat for quite a while.

So these are mine, what are yours. I pass this on to Noon, Preethi, Dipali and Suma.

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